Evil Sidekick/Disney Princess Problem Solver/Evil Step mom Supportive Side Kick/Jokester Leader of all the land/Person thrown into a new world Devious Mastermind/Brooding Prince
100
What is
Yay. Congrats on your engagement, you guys. I am so happy for you. Yay, yay yay.
100
What is
Hey Bill, it’s Sam. Hopefully you get this message. There’s something I needed to tell you about diffusing the bomb.
100
What is
I say, old boy, be a good lad and fetch my my slicker.
100
What is
I probably should have said something earlier, but as you can see, I have a conjoined twin.
100
What is
I can’t be poly. I don’t want a relationship with anyone, let alone several people.
200
What is
Can I interest the group in an aggressive banana eating contest with lots of eye contact?
200
What is
This is a lawless town, kind of like a Best Buy on Black Friday.
200
What is
My wife died in a mysterious cruise ship incident involving the ice cream machine.
200
What is
You should know that I own many Pez dispensers.
200
What is
I had to make my own lunch today. Adulting stinks.
300
What is
I would like to propose to your daughter, sir. And your enormous yacht has nothing to do with it.
300
What is
If you think most people are inherently good, you’ve probably never used the toilet at a gas station.
300
What is
I’m a triple threat: actor, singer and server at Denny’s.
300
What is
These Thin Mints aren’t making me any thinner.
300
What is
Sometimes I feel like I’m a dog person stuck in a cat cafe.
400
What is
Don't make me step outside my safe space and hurt you.
400
What is
Physically, I’ve only lived in big cities. But emotionally, I live in the woods selling crafts I’ve made from beads and hawk feathers.
400
What is
You know you’ve hit rock bottom when your wife leaves you for someone she met at a Harry Potter convention.
400
What is
I gotta guy. If he can’t do it, he’s gotta guy.
400
What is
I’d go, but then I’d have to talk to people and put on a bra.
500
What is
If I had super strength, I'd probably just buy more stuff at Costco.
500
What is
Now that I’m lead choreographer, we’ll be mastering jazz hands and sunbursts.
500
What is
It’s a free country ma’am. I can watch birthing videos whenever I want.
500
What is
My favorite restaurant is the one that delivers to my couch.
500
What is
I don’t want to be famous-famous. Just “Dancing with the Stars” famous.






Utter Nonsense

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