Age thirty-two (page 52)

- Refuse to be typical parents, because your child is not typical.
- Refuse the status quo, because it does not serve girls and it especially does not serve autistic girls.

Accepting herself.

Presume competence. (Page 32)

“That we need to know we are Autistic” (page 151).

- Your child loves you even if they don’t always show it.
- Make sure your child’s special talents are recognized and encouraged.
- Teach your child to learn to use their strengths to compensate for their so-called deficits or struggles.

Be there for your child and support them.

- Your child!
- “Consult the most experienced expert on your child, consult her” (Page 61).

She regretted all the years she didn’t accept who she was. (Page 97)

“Your child does not have to be perfect, and your child isn’t a failure because they are or may be autistic. And you should allow no one to tell you that they’ll amount to less or worth less, or that they should receive subpar treatment. Give them the best. Nobody is worthless; nobody should face lessoned prospects or mistreatment because of who they are” (Page 87).

- Give your child an autistic community.
- “He will grow up knowing that he is not alone” (Jean Winegardner, Page 175).

- Students might not be included and might be picked last.
- “I was almost always one of the leftovers” (Kate Levin, Page 27).

"Presuming competence is critical. It is a cornerstone of respect" (Page 5).

1. Take part in activities you like, if possible, outside of your room.
2. Do no take part in something you do not like to do, just to meet people.
3. If you do not understand something a potential friend does or says, ask them what they mean.
4. Remember that getting to know someone does take time.
5. Not everyone will be kind to you and learning to identify when they are not being kind is usually a survival skill.
6. Be nice to people.

- We learn early on that what we are is not what you wanted when you became a parent. Break the mold. Make the decision that she is exactly the child you always dreamed of.

- Role playing
- Teaching that bullying reflects more on the person doing it than on the person being bullied.

“... I wish my parents had known that teaching me to fight for my rights was more important than forcing me to fit in” (Page 31).

1. You may not always know she is high needs until she is put into a situation in which she can’t function.
2. Daily living skills training will not always work.
3. A person who is unable to take care of themself does not have to live in any kind of institution.
4. Some autistic people gain skills in adolescence, some people lose skills, and some do both.
5. The more help we get, the more capable we are.
6. There is no need for institutions. Don’t ever put your child in one.
7. Think about what’s important.
8. Don’t offer “hope” that is impossible. It can backfire considerably.
9. Expose your child to adults like themselves.
10. Do away with words like high- and low- functioning to describe your child.

“They should not try to ‘cure’, ‘prevent’, or ‘treat’ autism. They should try instead to help and support autistics all throughout their lives and promote and advocate for the rights of autistic people and autistic acceptance— not awareness” (Page 169).

“Help normalize your child’s more noticeable stims. It most likely makes them feel good. Unless it’s actively harmful to them or someone else, let them stim and make damn sure other adults in their life respect it” (Mallory Cruz. Page 163).