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If I let one student interrupt my lecture with a question, then I'll have to let others, and before long, there won't be any time left for my lecture.

"We've got to stop them from banning pornography. Once they start banning one form of literature, they will never stop. Next thing you know, they will be burning all the books!"- The Nizkor Project

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You should cancel the exam; this will give me a chance to relax and enjoy the weekend.

"Mister, can you give me some change to buy a sandwich? I'm so thirst, I don't know where I'll find a place to sleep tonight."- A Whiskey Soaked Panhandler

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Two blondes are driving a car on a steep hill. They get to the top and start going down it very fast. The driver screams "Oh no, the brakes won't work!" The other one says don't worry, there's a stop sign up ahead.

I live by syllogisms. God is love, love is blind, Stevie wonder is blind; therefore Stevie Wonder is God. I don't know what I'd believe if it wasn't for that."- Stephen Colbert

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"Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me."-Matthew 10:37

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Student: I think the question is poorly worded and should be taken off the test.
Teacher: I think you're just stupid to understand the question.

A knave; a rascal; an eater of broken meats; base, proud, shallow, beggarly, three-suited, hundred-pound, filthy, worsted-stocking knave; a lily-livered, action-taking knave, a whoreson, glass-gazing, super-serviceable finical rogue; one-trunk-inheriting

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