You only get one chance to regret it forever

No, wait! That kiss doesn't count! I wasn't even ready!

Seriously, bro. We're all going to the same place! He needs to slow down a bit!

Never run circles around the ottoman

To this day, it's still a no for me, dawg

Oh, he's buried way beneath the streets of Houston by now

Give me an H-A-P-P-Y! What's that spell?

I don't think I like the way Oprah's looking at me right now...

Sticks and stones, love. Amen to that.

Is there really a difference between "Kill Bill" and "Like a Virgin" though?

Storage lockers are the worst place to leave your creativity, especially when you can't afford them

No, I don't blame me for leaving. No, I don't blame you for not coming back.

"Please don't die! Please don't die! Please don't die!"
- everyone in attendance

Never heard of this alcohol stuff, and I never want to again!

I'll make you an offer that you have every right to refuse if it doesn't seem favorable enough. That is totally cool with me.

Dude, everyone has one by now. Just ask your mom to buy you your own.

We simply ran our course, even though it felt more like an appetizer.

There's no way I was born to be in forensics now.

Sometimes you're the bug. Sometimes you're the windshield. Sometimes you're unlucky enough to be neither.

So much for being connected, yeah?

He's no Keanu, but as far as armories go, he's Sean freaking Wick

Nope, I'll own that one. That's on me. That was a dick move.

I can never look at collecting sea shells the same way

Yeah, you're in the minor leagues now pal!

I'm thinking of a number between 1 & 10. It's 11. No honey for you!