“You sit on a throne of lies”

"Johnson"

This KA has the 3rd most passing yards in a single season at Jewell with 2,405.

I'm not from St. Louis, but I dispute this. Twisted teas are my drink, and I don't care what you think. Who am I?

The only NFL team never to win a game.

“You’ll shoot your eye out, kid.”

"I was definitely conceived in the back of a car"

This record is currently held by Mitch Elsness for Jewell Golf.

I am really old, and reside in front of columns, if you flip me over, we’ll have some problems. What am I?

The powerhouse of the cell.

"I'm happier'n a tornado in a trailer park!"

“I need a perc man.”

The number of games that Jewell Football has lost since the seniors got to Jewell.

I'm not like the rest of you, it's really not hard. Everyone here knows I have a green card. Who am I?

Thomas Jefferson was the ___ president of the United States.

“The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem. Do you understand?”

“I only feel the ungodly amount of despair that encircles our very existence”

The number of active KA's who are currently or have previously played a sport at Jewell.

Many drinks have been spilled on me, but it's easy to clean. Come get some fresh air, and lean on my railing. What am I?

The plane flew by Maverick and Goose in "Top Gun".

“We killed the bad guys and brought the leaders to the peace table. That is how the world works.”

"Bro, He smells fucking amazing" "Like Money"

The amount of home runs Lindsey Thorpe hit to set the single-season softball home run record in 2008.

I gave up bombs when I was on the mound, and now that my career is over, beers I shall pound. Who am I?

This NBA team had a record of 9-72 during the 1972-73 season.