Mindfulness Communication DEAR MAN Making Requests Mindfulness of Others
What is Wise Mind?
A balance between Reasonable Mind and Emotion Mind.
What are the three goals of interpersonal effectiveness?
Objectives (ask for something effectively)
Relationship (maintain positive relationships)
Self-respect (maintain your self-respect)
Want to achieve our objective (ask for something or say no)
We use DEAR MAN skills when we...
What is validation? Give an example from your own life of how you have validated someone in an important relationship.
Finding a bit of truth in another person's perspective or situation, verify the facts of a situation, acknowledge that the person's emotions, thoughts, and behaviors are understandable.
What are Observe, Describe, Participate?
Mindfulness skills that make friendships last longer.
What are the 3 goals of mindfulness practice?
1. To reduce suffering
2. To increase control of your mind
3. To experience reality as it is
Assertive communication
What is walking the middle path and having balanced interactions ("I want -- They want")?
Describe the situation.
The first step in DEAR MAN is...
What is negotiation? Provide an example.
HOW: Relax, Avoid, Validate, Examine, Neutral voice
TYPES: I'll cut, you choose, Take turns, Do both, Trial period, My way when I'm doing it, your way when you're doing it, Tit for tat, Part of what I want, part what you want, Split the difference
What is an Open group?
Everyone is standing somewhat apart in a group, members occasionally glance around, gaps in conversation, members talk about a topic of GENERAL interest.
What is: Observe, describe, participate AND non-judgmentally, One-mindfully, effectively? Must provide examples of each!
WHAT and HOW skills of Mindfulness
Group's discretion
Give an example of a worry thought/Unhelpful belief that might stop you from achieving an interpersonal effectiveness goal.
Ex: "I'll be happy" or "You'll really help me out" or "I'll really appreciate it"
What's an example of Reinforcing your request?
What is getting what we want.
This is the definition of objectiveness.
What is the Describe skill in an interpersonal interaction?
Replace judgmental words with descriptive words; Avoid assuming or interpreting what others think; Avoid questioning other people's motives; Give others the benefit of the doubt.
What is Deep Breathing or Square Breathing?
A quick relaxation technique with your attention focused on breathing: deep inhalation and holding the breath for a few seconds (try 5 seconds) before exhalation. You can make a square using your finger (up=breathe in through your nose; side, and down= hold the breath; over=exhale out your mouth)
What is an example of Passive communication?
(e.g. pulling away from a relationship rather than saying anything that could be upsetting.)
Describe, Express, Assert, Reinforce Mindfully, Appear Confident, Negotiate
Name all the DEAR MAN skills
What is priorities vs. demands
When someone is asking too much of you, this balance is off.
What is FALSE
True or false: we can always get what we want, somehow.
What is Mindfulness?
Present-moment awareness. An open and friendly willingness to understand what's going on in and around you- physically and mentally, and without judgment.
What is Body Language, Facial Expressions, Tone of Voice
Nonverbal Communication consists of what?
What is Mindfully
The "M" in MAN stands for this (please explain)
What are worry thoughts?
"What will my friend's think?" or "I'd probably screw it up anyway" are examples of these things that get in the way of objective effectiveness
What is talk yourself out of the myth or just do it/experiment.
What's a way to get rid of interpersonal effectiveness myth (remember, a myth is something like "if I don't _____, people will think I'm _____)

Interpersonal Effectiveness DBT

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