LOOKING (appearance) | Thinking | Acting (behaviour) | What would you do? |
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What is looking COLD?
My head is down, and I have no eye contact with anyone. I also have a sad facial expression.
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What is thinking HOT?
I am thinking "If I'm calm, they won't listen to me"
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What is acting COLD?
I do nothing. When I speak, I mutter or have a low voice tone.
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You hate washing the dishes, but it's one of your chores at night. Now your family criticizes you for not cleaning them well. Discuss as a group, and tell us what you would do!
*HINT* Think of Cheryl and her Dad. In a calm voice, she accepted her Dad's criticism as fair then Cheryl apologized for not keeping her promise.
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What is looking COOL?
I am taking deep breaths. I look at the person when listening and talking. I also have a happy/neutral facial expression.
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What is thinking COOL?
I am thinking "What do I need to do to improve?"
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What is acting COOL?
If I am not sure if the criticism is valid, I ask for clarification then accept it.
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Your soccer coach takes you aside after a game and criticizes you about your attitude towards the other team members. You don't understand what he is talking about. Discuss as a team, and tell us what you would do!
*HINT* Think of Diane and her gymnastics coach. She asked for clarification of the criticism, and once she understood, Diane accepted it and apologized.
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What is looking HOT?
My head is up, and I am glaring at people. My body is tense and my fists are clenched. I also have an angry facial expression.
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What is thinking COLD?
I am thinking "I'm not a good person. I can't do anything right."
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What is acting HOT?
I argue or deny I did anything. I also could be yelling, making hostile remarks or use intimidating behaviour.
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Your friend told you something confidentially and now the secret is out. She comes back to you and criticizes you for revealing it. You're hurt by her criticism since you know you've never told anyone. Discuss as a team and tell us what you would do!
*HINT* Think of Nathan and Emily. Nathan was criticized unfairly. He stood up for himself and explained his side.
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What is thinking COOL?
I am thinking "I'm a good person, it's okay to make mistakes"
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What is acting COOL?
I accept and apologize if the criticism is valid by listening to the other persons criticism.
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You're always deciding what to do when you get together with your friend. Now your friend criticizes you for being selfish and thoughtless of their feelings. Discuss as a team, and tell us what you would do!
*HINT* Think of Cheryl and her Dad. In a calm voice, she accepted her Dad's criticism as fair then Cheryl apologized for not keeping her promise.
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